Monday, August 29, 2005
freaky...past comes back with a vengence
My msn nick of late has been undergoing a high turn-over rate =P For some time it was "finally, things are going my way." Then yesterday, I changed it to "I need closure, why am I still thinking of him...I'm so pathetic" which was in line with my nostalgic post yesterday. It feels too depressing though...and maybe it's getting a wee bit more attention than I'd like. I dun think I want everyone to ask me what's wrong and really decided I'm pathetic. As yan puts it, I'm wu2 ke3 jui4 yao4 (= no medicine can help). Ahaha, anyway our conversation ended with us agreeing that the world is just so big and vast that basically everything we do is crap cuz we don't really make a difference in the largest scheme of things. Wahha, shortform: Life is shit.
Another seemingly unremarkable day...that is until I was rushing home for my piano lesson. I was at Arts and lucky for me, my parents had just finished with the physiotherapy at NUH so they could give me a lift back. So, there i was standing at the busstop outside the Arts central library waiting for 5 plus minutes. For the record, I hate to wait cuz it feels so pathetic...you are at the mercy of the other party's punctuality or lack of. Anyway, I was trying to remain inconspicous and fiddling with my handphone to look busy.
tick tock....
should be here any min now....better look out for them if not my mum would kick up a fuss if she caught me daydreaming and launch into a lecture about how I'm not observant....PULease.... sheesh
Hmmm...loads of cars passing by....count the number of empty taxis whizzing by...Murphy's law has it in for me today.
BECAUSE, I saw this guy like 100m away from me staring at me with a look of concentration. Then I stared back...hmmm long hair...the familiar smirk...GOD!! could it be??? It was Jin Hao, my first boyfriend!!
My brain was in total retard mode but I managed a smile back. Sigh, 3 years we have been in NUS but not once have we bumped into each other until today. And today even with a lesson in Arts, I was dressed sloppy in my red nike (fake one from kl)t-back top and berms with slippers...and looked absolutely dorky with my specs perched on my nose. I just had to look like crap before I see him...not that it really matters but it's really just my ego talking now.
Then we talked. For the first time since that stupid phonecall (that was after the breakup and when kelvin was into me but JH kinda spoilt whatever chance we had by calling me up and getting me infatuated over him again), we were capable of polite conversation. Most of the times, I'd rather avoid him. In fact, I still would but today, I had no where to run.
Then just as i was feeling more at ease with talking to him, my parents' car arrived. I felt like a geek saying that I had to go cuz my parents was here. This is what I used to say to him at times when I did not need him to send me home (bus of cuz). Crap.
Anyway, it's freaky freaky freaky. I'd rather not remember that part of my life if I could. Came home feeling slightly lousy but could not dwell on it as I had a lesson to prepare for.
NOW I SAY: BEGONE GHOSTS OF THE PAST!!
I'M A NEW WOMAN!!~
ahaha
=P
5:30 PM