Thursday, August 18, 2005
A different slice of me
Finally, it's August the 18th, the day I turn 21. No car keys yet but no worries as I'm
really sure you guys don't want me on the road. Although I passed my driving on 2nd try, me thinks that I owe my passing grade to someone up there. Obviously, that person really really likes me or he/she wanted to see a free show (=me getting lost; I'm hopeless in remembering roads). Besides, I lurveeee being chauffered around...
As usual, I'm in the spider lab bumming. I was counting on finding Matthew to ask him about my spider trials but damn, I find myself alone in the lab. Which actually is not such a bad thing as the lab is really a nice place equipped with computers, a hi-fi as well as a coffee n snack corner (supposed to be my table but anyway...). Am trying to read some texts on ecology and experiments in ecology. But unfortunately, I'm still stuck in at the introduction.
After reading through my previous posts, I realise that I tended to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek smartypants. I mean everything that I wrote earlier but I was so obviously hiding my deeper thoughts so as to not offend friends who read my blog. Also, I was not writing about things that I really care about. So far, my blog is just an ego trip. Which is not a bad thing since it keeps in spirit with the name of my blog.
From now however, I'd be entering PHASE 2 of my blogging journey =) Hope you'll stick around still =P.
mature lin
******
And now, back to the princess.
Firstly, a big sorry to xyz and thanks for making me feel better. If it makes you feel better, you are not the first and only victim of my falling alseep on the phone.
I woke at 9 a.m this morning, geared to do some last minute practise before my music lesson at 11.30 a.m. Luckily, I did some sporadic practices during the week as my mom made me help her with the praying (ancestral). By the time I was done with burning paper money, it was 11 a.m and I was still in my pjs.
Currently, I'm doing a Beethoven (pronounced: Beet-Ho-ven and not Bay-tho-ven)sonata "Pathetique", the first and second movement. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, just go to your Windows media player >> music search >> '
Pathetique Op 13' to listen to a short music clip. I adored this song the first time i heard it 7 years ago on a Jap drama (The 2nd movement is really popular so I think most people should have heard it before.)and so I went online to search the name of the piece.
*Don't ask me how I do it but I think I'm quite proficient in finding obscure music online...I even did that for another piece of music from Kenshin (which turned out to be from an opera)*
Anyway, playing (or rather, trying to play) Beethoven has made me feel more satisfied that I have ever been. He's my kind of composer because he's just so temperamental. The opening of the first movement starts with a bang and immediately softens and the colours of his composition are just so rich that I feel so overwhelmed. Also, knowing the history behind this sonata made me more aware of how he was feeling when he was composing.
Pathetique was written around the time his mother passed away and basically, Beethoven was a miserable man. Talented but still not fully appreciated by the aristocrats. He endured many heartbreaks and failed loves due to his low standing and high ideals and if that was not enough, he was losing his hearing.
I'm inspired to really play his pieces well and to bring out the colours the best i can but right now, I still have to contend with aching arms. His pieces require great stamina and I frequently get cramps during my practises. My arms would get really hot and tight from the lactic acid buildup. For people who knows piano, I think you'd understand what I'm saying. You just have to cut up your brain: Left hand is fast, steady and soft at first while the right starts soft with staccato and builds-up slowly to ff (=very loud aka bang on the piano). The control involved is very delicate and require alot of concentration. I don't think my piano can take the abuse much longer. It's about as old as I am, the touch is slow and the sound of the bottom register is loud but not full while the top register is thin and muted. I think I might break a string soon with all my banging. Hehhe but that is also why I like his pieces...I get to bang the piano!~
Another reason why I like his pieces is because they are so sad and dark and I play dark pieces well. My proudest moment was when I sat for my Grade 7 piano exams at YMS (Young Musician Society) near CHJIMES and the National Arts Museum. It was quite a bad day as my exams was at 9 a.m and I was almost late because I could not get a cab to town. When I walked into the examination room, I was a nervous wreak with frozen mush for a brain. I had trouble remembering my scales fast enough and my hands were cold and clammy. I hate scales by the way =). Finally, I prepared to play my first piece by Mozart (For examinations, we have to play 3 pieces representing different music time periods from the prescribed syllabus). The whole piece was four pages long and it went rather well until the the 4th page. I was going to end soon (half way through the last page!!) when I suddenly lost it.
For me, after practising some pieces for so long, some parts comes to your fingers automatically. I don't have to think or look at the piece and it's as if those fingers are not mine but someone else. I am not aware of what I'm doing. However, when I regain consciousness suddenly, it's like I'm thrown into a deep dark ocean and I can't find my way. This was what happened then. I suddenly woke up and I couldn't find where I was on the page. My music stalled. I was horrified. I stared and stared and the page but I just could not find where I was. And this was the first time like that happened during exams. In the end, the examiner let me start again from the top of page 4.
I was cursing myself like crazy because, I never ever had any problems with the 4th page. So by the time i was ready to start on the 2nd piece, I was feeling an ultimate low. However, this was lucky in a way as my 2nd piece was a dark song. I loved that piece alot when i was learning it and i took the shortest time ever to learn it. By the 2nd lesson, I was playing the song almost flawlessly. The 2nd piece was supposed to encompass regret, sadness tinged with anger and resignation then memories about better times before sinking back into depression. So, I was in my element.
The exam room i was in was a small room with wooden shutters and wood flooring and the piano was placed in the middle of the room so it felt very lonely. Coupled with my depressed mode, i delivered the piece as it should. And I scored 29/30 for that piece...a grade 7 piece somemore...wahha...as for my first piece, i scored 25/30. The examiner said it was a pity i could not find my way if not he would have given me higher marks. By the way....passing mark is 20/30.
Ahha...that ranks high up on one of my proudest moments. To think that after the exams, I went home to my bed and cried my eyes out.
*****
Have to go now to munchie monkeys to meet my friends for my bdae dinner celebration =)
Ciao
3:22 PM